It’s an age old tradition in our society – to sit down in the last weeks of December and write a long list of things under ‘New Years Resolution’. We want new bodies, to go on an international holiday, to buy that new sports car. It’s all about that ‘New Year, New You’ motto. But let’s be honest now – is this really the case? Perhaps it’s not so much about recreating yourself, but rather redefining yourself by taking the time to find out just what your purpose might be for the year. With a little help from what I’ve learned in Psychology, here’s a few ways in how you can find your why (and who) in 2018
Build Your Sense of Self
There’s this notion that psychologists give you basically all of the answers you’re looking for when you lie down on their chair and share the problems that you’re facing. But, these answers are actually within yourself already. Whilst psychologists offer wonderful insights, you’re the person who knows yourself best, and working to build a better sense of who you are allows you to know just what to do and what direction works best for you when figuring out your ‘why’ and ‘who’.
Finding your purpose has a lot to do with understand just what it is you want to do with your life. It might not be a very crystal clear image, but the relationship you nurture with yourself can guide you. This is why it’s so important to take the time for yourself. Not just spa days and month end shopping sprees, but go hiking, take a cooking class, try Zumba. It’s through doing that that you might realise more things about yourself – that you love being outdoors when you hike, that you hate baking during a cooking class, or that you have the best left feet when you Zumba. Building your sense of self – which also includes your self-confidence and self-esteem – means that you gain a better sense of who you are, your likes and dislikes and your willingness to try new things.
Your Past Should Be A Reference Point
In Psychology, particularly Freudian Psychology, your past gets looked into so that one can understand why you’re behaving the way you do presently, and from that one can then find ways to alter such behaviour in future. So, don’t be afraid to look to your past to help you gain a better perspective on what you want your future to look like. Many of us ladies look to all the men we once dated to guide us in who we’d like to be with in future – you once dated someone who was arrogant, so now you want someone who is less self-conceited. In a similar way, look at the things in your past that could potentially help you find your purpose now.
Looking at my own past, I saw how I was always involved in roles that required leadership – high school hockey captain, prefect and an SRC member. This has helped me realise that I possess a leadership quality, and that being a leader is who I am – my ‘who’ – and I can find my purpose – my ‘why’ within this. I might not end up being the President, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to become a CEO.
Your ‘Why’ Can Be Revealed In Layers
Some of us will have our purposes revealed to us right from the onset, whilst others might have to go through a few experiences before discovering it, but finding your ‘why’ can happen in layers and steps – a process you need to open yourself up to.
In business, 3 questions get answered in succession when it comes to marketing a particular product to a customer:
- What? And the question here really is what is the product being sold to you?
- How? How is this product different to its competitors?
- Why? Why should you buy this product instead of another?
If you take these questions and answer them at your own pace, you might be able to find out what your ‘why’ is. For example, ask yourself:
- What would you like to achieve in 2018?
- How are you going to achieve this?
- Why do you want to achieve this?
Using a method like this is a great way to help you set up your goals for 2018, but it can also help you discover your ‘who’ and your ‘why’. You might list all the places you want to travel in South Africa as your goal, which can indicate that you’re someone who loves to travel. I might list that I want to start a business and take online marketing classes, which can show how I am an initiator. Getting in tune with who you are brings you closer to why you want to do certain things, why you are drawn to certain desires and why you are ultimately living the life you live.
So many of us have different stories to tell, and many of us will have stories of how we want to redefine ourselves in 2018. What’s important is the story you are continually writing about the phenomenal ‘who’ you are becoming, and the incredible ‘why’ that you are finding.