Before we dive into the balancing act, let me explain what I mean by the term “fempreneurship”. This term includes female solo-; mom-; intra-; entre-preneurship.
The path of the [insert your definer here] -preneur is one which requires you to stay present, to anchor in clarity, to be creative, to trust yourself, to step into leadership and maintain balance.
In order to master the art of work/life balance, we are required to clearly define what tips the scales, and which choices bring them back into balance.
The scales of balance remind me of my favourite Ancient Egyptian myth about the Goddess Ma’at. It was believed that when you left this world, you would meet Maat, who would weigh your heart against her feather on a scale. If a balanced scale was struck, you would proceed to the next world, meeting Osiris in paradise, on the other hand, if your heart was weighted heavier than her feather, you would remain in the Duat. I believe that all mythological stories hold an innately wise life lesson for us. The wisdom in “the feather of Ma’at” myth, is to lead a light-hearted life, which is experienced through living a balanced, fulfilled life. It encourages us to make choices which leave us feeling light, peace-filled and loved rather than the lead-footed weight from a ‘not enough’ mindset, and the pull from the grips of fear, envy and comparison.
Do you know what tips your heart scale? What are your triggers for feeling overwhelmed, depleted, frustrated, discouraged or “green-fever-envy-ism”?
· Is it not being able to ‘turn’ your brain off?
· Do you feel like there’s never enough time?
· Procrastination by scrolling through social media, only to be dragged down and left feeling unaccomplished, unworthy, and like you should be doing more to launch, revamp your website or sell more product!?
· Secretly keeping the anxiety and overwhelm inside?
When we can identify the thoughts, beliefs, choices and actions which tip our scales from harmonious balance into chaos, we can set practices in place which cultivate the feathered freedom of equilibrium.
You know you are on the right path, when you make choices which don’t betray your heart. This self-betrayal takes place when we put ourselves in a position where we feel we have to compromise our integrity, negotiate our professional boundaries, and ultimately lose our sense of self or clarity of business ethics.
Feather tools to keep the scales in balance:
1. Heart-compass. Check in with how you feel.
Knowing how you feel is the most potent form of clarity. It’s a simple, yet empowering practice. I want you to know that contrary to old patriarchal belief, your emotional courage is your SUPERPOWER.
How does this new contract, project, marketing campaign feel?
Does it feel heavy, like its rooted in fear, or ‘not enough’ mindset? Or does it feel light, aligned with your ‘why’, in service, and inspiring?
2. Healthy Boundaries keeps the scales in the sweet spot.
In the absence of boundaries, chaos and overwhelm thrives. Boundaries can either make or break relationships, and when you are a fempreneur, its All about cultivating authentic relationships. This includes a healthy relationship with the ‘self’ at its core. In its simplest form, healthy boundary setting is a Yes or No compass.
Boundary setting is a practice of self-respect and respect for others. It is the structure or the value system which you put in place to define the people, behaviour, and experiences you want to include in your life, which is aligned to who you are, what you need and how you want to feel.
Often, we haven’t defined our boundaries, and this is usually rooted in unresolved childhood wounds. And hence we do not realise that we have the right to say yes or no to things that we value and most importantly, that we have the right to ask for what we need. Undefined boundaries can lead to burn-out, broken relationships, self-sabotage and feeling taken advantage of.
If we want others to honour our boundaries, we need to take the time to clearly define them and to understand their purpose.
When you are clear about what matters to you, and why it does, it becomes simpler to set and maintain your personal and professional boundaries.
Time and time again, we enter into relationships, either romantic or professional without defining our boundaries, only soon to realise that it’s not working, and then we get stuck.
Clearly defining your personal and professional boundaries makes the light-hearted choices easier.
A clarifying question to ask yourself: “Will this choice impact my health (by burning through the midnight oil), or my self-respect (will I betray my integrity)?
From time to time, an opportunity comes along which seduces us. It speaks into our little selves which believes it’s not enough [insert your limiting belief here] … not good enough… not smart enough… not beautiful enough… not skilled enough… and from this space we look for the short-cut to success. Enter the ‘test your integrity’ opportunity. Its enticing, it looks like the answer to all your worries, fears and a quick fix to your aspirations.
If you choose to go with it, it may mean compromising your values and ultimately betraying your heart. This could be a very valuable detour.
I know my detour was a white-knuckle, emotional breakdown/ spiritual breakthrough, rollercoaster of epic proportions. It cost a great deal in time, money and self-respect, yet invaluable in awakening me to my true path and aligning me to my authenticity. Now, that I have luminous clarity, I choose not to compromise my integrity, the cost for me, both personally, and professionally is simply too high.
If we can be present in the detour, then we won’t beat ourselves up when we return to the path of balance.
If you know who you are, what you stand for and not stand for, what you value and how you want to feel in every experience, your choices gift your personal freedom, professional integrity and thriving relationships abounds.
It is imperative that you understand why you need your personal boundaries. It’s important to understand why you feel physically or emotionally unsafe around your boss, your sister, your mother, partner or friend.
This helps you to reflect on how you have allowed others to behave around you. Have you allowed people to manipulate you, take advantage of you, belittle you? Or perhaps you accepted certain situations which are inappropriate.
Boundary setting tool: Clarify what you need in order for you to feel safe around others. You can start by making a list of behaviour, people and situations which no longer feels safe for you. Think about what you value?
What is sacred to you?
3. Daily self-care practice.
Taking the time each day to nurture yourself is key to maintaining balance. This daily practice keeps you in tune with your lightness of being. Self-care is an inside job, its personal, so choose a practice which works for you.
It could be:
· starting a gratitude journal; or
· joining a yoga class;
· daily meditation;
· hikes in nature; Or
· writing down 3 things you value about yourself or value you have added to your clients. This roots you to your worth and is a radical act of self-love.
Next time you feel like you’re toppling over, lighten your heart and remember: You are a phenomenal woman! The world needs you right now, and we need the gifts you bring to our world.