As the dusk light settles on the watershed wake of 2017, it’s clear that we were being prepared for the new dawn Mastery Magic of 2018.

In an electrifying, truth-bump beautiful acceptance speech at the 75th Golden Globes, in her sagacious Oprah way, she delivered a powerful message to all future females: “So, I want all the girls watching here now to know that a new day is on the horizon. And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say, ‘Me too’ again.”

The year twenty-eighteen is without a doubt, the year of Fempower!

According to numerology the universal year of 2018 is analyzed as two sets of numbers. The first set, a master number 11 ( 2 + 0 + 1 + 8 = 11) is all about self-mastery or self-actualization. The second set, a number 2 (1 + 1 = 2) relates to working together, harmonious collaboration, love, emotions, and relationship.

Self-mastery requires us to dive deeper into the realm of self-realization, through expansion, eve-olution and knowing our wholehearted ‘why’.

These two concepts flow in beautiful harmony, as we cannot give that which do not have, we cannot change that which we do not acknowledge. I.o.w. if you are unclear about your inner-self, intimacy with your emotions, know your core beliefs, values, and driving motivations, you will struggle to connect and engage with your outer world in an authentic way, both in business endeavors and personal relationships.

In essence, this year is a great opportunity for us to get to know ourselves better, to explore the wisdom of our emotions instead of distracting ourselves with our vice of choice i.e. chocolate fountain indulgence, comparison-loathing facebook scrolling, or hamster wheel hustling.

In order to master any skill, field of knowledge or practice, one needs to prepare and commit to the whole journey. The beautiful meanders, the scary cave, the dark long lost night of the soul, the daybreak of emergence and the sharing of the gifts found. The golden compass which keeps us on track is rooted in clarifying our purpose, our core contributing beliefs, which is ultimately our reason to continue. This means that every challenge this year, every moment of impatience, every ‘roadblock” is an opportunity to learn, up-skill, re-evaluate, and to realign with your innate wise ‘why’ compass.

We cannot begin to unpack the ‘why’ without mentioning the Genius who has shared the Golden Circle of why with us. Even if you have seen Simon Sinek’s viral tedtalk, watch it again, and then again. I earnestly share his belief that we deserve the right to feel fulfilled at the end of a workday.

Over the years in my practice, I have worked with women, who were at the threshold of the mid-career “why” crisis. At some point in our life cycle, the Wakeful ‘Why” of who we are, and why we do what we do, shifts from a soft inner whisper to a roaring lioness which can no longer be ignored. Answering this question is truly life-altering, purpose-centered, personally transformational and a career game-changer. It’s the unfurling of your sacred heart which is on purpose, aligning the rest of you with authentic expression. At times this call arrives during a crisis, at times at 40 something, at 33 something, or 27 something. It need not be a catalytic drama before we listen… we can choose to listen to the first wisps of the hearts’ call.

Working with your ‘why’ assists you to set goals with soul, instead of what I would like to call, “should” goals. When you are uncertain about what your why is, these ‘should’ goals are derived from a place where you are tapping into the unconscious programming of what you were taught you “should be”, “should have”, or “should achieve”. These are unlikely to be linked to your unique purpose. They are societal, familial, or organized beliefs systems imprints, and perceptions of defining success, acknowledgment, worthiness, and belonging.

Knowing your WHY is crucial for several reasons:

• Your Why motivates you to get up in the morning, to push through the tough times, to get up and try again after the fall;
• It’s the golden compass which aligns all your decisions;
• It clarifies who your ideal market is, who to connect with, and what to stop wasting energy on;
• It serves your marketing to be authentic. If you don’t know why your business exists, no-one else will, because you cannot articulate it clearly;
• And mostly importantly, when you Why sparks the YES! in other people’s Why, you will build a trusted tribe of like-hearted peeps.

As Simon teaches us through the golden circle wisdom, most of us obsess with the What we do, and How we go about it. The What and How can help to set you on the path of success, but truly sustainable success flows from the alignment of when your What and your How are expressions of your Why.

Simply put, your why is the cause, the purpose or belief which motivates what you do and how you do it. When we share our “why” with others, and they resonate, there is a connection point. This starts to build trust, and we are accountable to honour the trust of our customers, clients, friends, and colleagues through aligning our behaviour and words with our why beliefs. This is authenticity in practice. What you do, say and think are aligned. Instinctually, people pick up on inauthenticity. We’re wired to subconsciously read body language, scan for incongruent behaviour patterns and listen to what is not being said. This instinct is what keeps us safe.

When we are clear on our why, and each thought, decision, action, and behaviour is motivated by this reason, then we are living our purpose. It is your hearts compass which leads you to the place of feeling fulfilled, connected, sacredly feminine, seen, heard, worthy, and loved.

Because when you find the heart of your golden circle, you access your muse, and she will inspire you in enchanting creative ways you never thought possible, encourage you each day to keep on keeping on, and give you that extra boost of energy for the tasks in your business you’re not so passionate about, because your golden why makes it all worth it.

Now you’re probably thinking, okay, but HOW? How do I find or know my “why” is true north?

Self-mastery lesson 101: Finding your golden ‘why’.

I don’t believe in reinventing the wheel, so I have included the Golden Circle steps to discovering your Why.

Sinek, with co-authors David Mead and Peter Docker, has produced a new book, “Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team”. I can highly recommend working through this practical how-to companion workbook to Start With Why. The authors present a 3-general step process for finding your Why.

1)    Gather stories and share them with a friend (to gain objective insight);

2)    Identify the themes within your stories;

3)    Draft and refine your Why Statement.

The authors explain that at its core, your Why is an origin story. By looking at your past and extracting the most significant defining moments, you can identify patterns or themes. The themes, in turn, lead to your Why Statement.

The connecting thread through your themes will reveal the definition of who you are, and this becomes the foundation of your Why Statement. According to the authors, this statement takes the form of:

TO ______ [the contribution you make to the lives of others] SO THAT ______ [the impact of this contribution].

My Wholehearted Why Statement, is: “To empower women to love, live & lead from their divine feminine core, so that together, we can Root to Rise in a compassionate, thriving world for all. “

This is a brilliant process, however, the only thing I would add is the essence of that innate divine feminine magic, to further illuminate your Wise “Why”.

Here are a few tools and catalytic questions which will help your journey to uncover your wholehearted “why”:

1.) What inspires you?

What makes your body tingle with delight, and makes you feel alive? When we set our soul-goals from a place that inspires us, we feel alive. I’m not talking about the dream vacay in the Caribbean or marrying Jake Gyllenhall. I’m talking about the wakeful ‘why’ which has a service purpose. When we connect to something which we are deeply passionate about, something which was a catalytic experience for us, and we speak from this place, we create an authentic, growing impact which connects to the bigger whole.

This is not about saving the world from climate change (yet 😉 but rather relates to you connecting to a bigger cause than yourself, which is also aligned with who you are, and what matters to you most.

2) What ignites your warrior’s heart?

What do you stand for? And what don’t you stand for? If we don’t know what we stand for, we will fall for anything.

This clarification becomes pertinent when setting healthy boundaries, both in business and in personal relationships. Our inner activist gives us clues about the direction our heart’s compass is purposefully pointing us towards. Often this direction scares us a little, or at times deer-in-the-headlight lots. This is when you know you are on the right track. It evokes this tension within you because deep down you know you are being called to step up.

Too often we undervalue our skills, strengths and the expertise we naturally acquire over our lifetime. How would your ‘why’ change, if you reframed the concept of adding value through the lens of problem-solving? Think about how you solve problems in your shared office, industry, or with clients. Ask yourself which problems you really enjoy solving, and which ones you feel most passionate about.

Entrepreneurship is often the solution to a personal problem or passionate cause. It emerges from the wholehearted why, with the how and what flowing effortlessly from the core of the warrior’s heart.

3) How does it make you feel?

Since your wholehearted why is biologically connected to the limbic brain, which is where ‘gut decision’ making stems from, and consequently, trust is cultivated, it all comes down to feelings.

The most important explorative question to Knowing your Why is to ask:

How does this make me feel? And then developing an intimate relationship with your emotional body, so that you can discern ‘gut wisdom’ from ‘fearful thoughts’. How does the partnership, deal, new idea, or contract make you feel? It may look perfect on paper, but that annoying ‘gut instinct’ is always on point.

Which activity, process, or creation makes you feel so immersed in the pure joy of doing it, that you lose all sense of space and time?

When we do what we love, we experience deep Joy

The next subsequent question to ask is: How does your contribution or service make your clients feel?

If this is a challenging question to answer, you could clarify where you add the greatest value to your clients? And how does this make them feel?

4.) What is your life story theme?

Looking back on your life, choose 8 defining moments. Think about experiences you’ve had, the characters which influenced you, the victories and challenges you’ve faced, and the lives you’ve touched. Write down these defining moments in as much living colour detail as possible. In overviewing them, there will be a golden thread, a pattern which emerges. This pattern will start to illuminate insights about yourself, and the why behind the why of what you do. Find a soul-sister and ask her to listen to your stories, she will be able to give you an objective insight into theme you may not be able to see yourself

You will know when you’re living your purposeful ‘why’ when you fall into bed at night, exhausted but not depleted, feeling fulfillment from experiencing meaningful work and excited about the new day ahead.

Eleftheria Kakambouras

B.A.(Hons) Psychology, Feminine Wisdom Counsellor

Internationally Accredited Facilitator

Cherie Blaire Mentor Alumni