Let’s admit it, loving yourself doesn’t come easy nor does it come cheap, but in order to maintain a balance within ourselves, we need to at least try to get or rather grasp the concept of self love. In a world dedicated to making us feel like we need to work, achieve or earn the love from the world, it is very important to centre yourself, find yourself and learn yourself, so you can ultimately, love yourself.
And I’m here to guide you on your quest.
Many people, including myself, speak about “self love”. Some say it’s figuring yourself out, while others might say it’s learning yourself before you go into a relationship. And so the list goes on. However, you only TRULY obtain self love by having compassion for the self, so you can appreciate and do considerate deeds for others. In simple terms, you CAN NOT do something that you can’t do for yourself to the next person, for example, you can not and will not tolerate someone else, if you can’t tolerate yourself. You won’t be loyal to the next person, if you can’t be loyal to yourself. You definitely won’t love another person, if you do not love yourself.
Catch my drift?
Along my path of self education, learning about myself and working on my own self love, I discovered several truths that still resonate with me and helps support my personal efforts because I’ve realised that not everyone has a support system. Family members, a group of friends, your wine and book club members. Consider yourself fortunate and blessed to have people surrounding you, supporting you and cheering you on as you embark on your journey of self love. To those who feel alone in this journey, it is just that – a feeling. You never truly alone in ANYTHING. You probably just feel that way because you’re not letting anyone in. As human beings, we were created to live life with other people, share our joys and pains, ups and downs with our fellow people. We’re definitely not designed to live life in solitary. Remember that you only truly start living the moment you step out of your comfort zone. We are all a constant work in progress, as I am too.
To help you gain more perspective and set a foundation on which to gather the broken pieces of yourself, pick them up, sort them out, mend them and begin your journey of self love, here are 30 truths to assist you in re-igniting the love and help you remember:
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
People achieve success and fail at different rates.
- You’re not as fat as you think.
Besides, your body fat percentage has no bearing on what makes you a quality human being.
- Exercise because it is good for your soul and not solely for your outward experience.
Appreciate your body and all the things it can do. Stop picking it apart – you will never achieve perfection.
- Find something at which you excel.
Maybe you are really amazing at working with kids and you just don’t know it yet!
- Spend more time with your girlfriends or guy friends.
Relationships may come and go, but friends are forever – cherish that.
- Spend time alone.
It’s absolutely fine if you want to stay home on a Friday night, Catch Up on your DStv Explora and eat ice cream because you’ve had an exhausting work or school (sometimes both) week.
- Read that book you’ve been meaning to read.
In fact, read as many books as possible. Reading expands the imagination and sharpens the mind.
- Spend time outside.
Discover a new trail or a mountain to hike. Soak up the sun.
- Take A LOT of pictures.
Take way too many and don’t forget to save them on an external hard drive. Print some (or all) if you want to. You don’t want them to just sit on your phone memory, now do you ???
- Let go of the past.
Forgive the people who hurt you so that YOU can move on. Carrying around anger only poisons you.
- Reunite with old friends from high school, tertiary and your past in general.
Let go of friendships that no longer serve you. People grow apart; it’s natural and it’s okay.
- Call your friends and family more often; don’t just follow them on social media.
Remember when we used to have to call or meet up with people to hear their voices? That experience is so much richer.
- Resolve the issues you might have with your family.
Tell them you love them. Show up to family events and don’t have something better to do.
- Take vitamins because you want to be the healthiest version of yourself.
Unless you want to be cranky and lethargic all day, make sure you get enough iron.
- Treat yourself to something you want but don’t need.
Whether it’s a fancy designer purse you’ve been eyeing for years or a plane ticket to the destination of your dreams, remember how fine the line between saving and living is. Toe it.
- Care about your appearance – not in a vain, superficial way.
Care about how you look, so you can feel great when you leave the house. But, if you feel like wearing sweatpants and your hair up in a bun to the grocery store once in a while, go ahead and do it!
- Watch that movie or that series on ShowMax you’ve been meaning to see
- Be active.
Exercising regularly releases endorphins and contributes to your level of happiness and will help you feel better about yourself.
- Pick a hobby.
A friend of mine and myself have started scrapbooking to showcase our time in Port Elizabeth. It makes us feel creative and it allows us to have some bonding time.
- Save up money and travel somewhere new.
Try the sunrise at the bridge of God’s Window in Mpumalanga on a summer’s morning. You will literally feel like you are in heaven.
- Laugh at yourself.
If you trip over your feet or realize that your shirt is inside out, don’t worry about it and make it a joke.
- Do karaoke.
Do it sober. Do it drunk. Sing! I read somewhere that the more you sing, the happier and healthier it will make you. You’re welcome ?
- Eat less processed food.
If you actually knew what was in that crap, you would be disgusted. Watch the documentary “Food Inc”. But, if you want to have fries, with extra, extra sauce sometimes, do it.
- Dance.
Freak dance. Weird dance. Make up a dance routine with your friends like you did when you were in Grade 7. Stop caring about what you look like. Have fun.
- Smile more.
The more you smile, the happier you will feel. It makes other people happier too – trust me.
- Do favours.
Don’t expect anything in return from the kindness of your heart.
- Guard your heart, but be open.
Simply put, don’t let people take advantage of you.
- Be less judgemental.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
- Look up at the sky.
Realize that sunsets are gorgeous. Look at the stars, as they’re pretty incredible, too.
- You will never be able to please everyone.
Not everyone will like you. You won’t like everyone you meet. That’s perfectly fine also. Remember that.
Love yourself. Enjoy the life you have been given, and embrace each day as it comes, with open arms.
And, always remember this quote by Buddha:
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”